so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
