I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
