I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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