is your mom at the bar?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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