We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
