White coat. Heels.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
