i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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