I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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