i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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