guys are not supposed to queef...right?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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