shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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