I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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