My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
