is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize