why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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