1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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