Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i now understand why vodka
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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