If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
