Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
