I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize