my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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