He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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