It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
