He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
