Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
