no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Girls should come with a carfax report
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
