dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
