i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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