You can't motorboat a personality
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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