Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize