ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We left the knife in your bed.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
