i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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