Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
