he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
