New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
