I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
