i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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