so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
