he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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