Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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