I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
