is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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