yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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