She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
