i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize