God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize