We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
