? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
