Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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