hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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