At least make sure they are 18
Why
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
