Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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