dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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