I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
