eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
