Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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