sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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