dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
