ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
