The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
