One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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