omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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