She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
